RELATIONSHIPS
Your Friend Is Boring
And when you should move on.
You were friends with each other since you were teenagers. Back then, you found many exciting things together. You had a lot of things in common — the teachers you hated, the subjects you loved, and the friends you gossiped about.
But you left school and spent many years apart. You made a path for yourself and discovered new experiences that defined you as an adult. Your desires, wants and needs shift like the wind carrying a ship to unexplored territories.
When you finally sailed home, you spend your time as a young adult working your way up. As you settled down and experienced more life-changing events, you started to lose interest in your friend.
It wasn’t anything she did. The problem was she remained the same person you knew back in school. Her interests did not change and she preferred to maintain the status quo. Neither did she have any interest in self-betterment or anything outside her world. Unfortunately, it made her a very dull person to talk to.
Due to her immaturity, she cannot be that friend you can go to for advice. Back in school, it was easier to relate because you lived in the same environment. But when life throws curve balls in adulthood, you need an adult friend to relate to.
You realized how much you have grown apart and it is causing a rift in your friendship. It makes you question if it is time to let this one go. You are reminded of the old sage that you are the five people you surround yourself with.
But you grew up with her. Shouldn’t the years of friendship count for something? In the cycle of guilt, that question itself presents the answer. You grew up believing in being best friends forever (BFF). But the reality is — people can grow apart, BFF or not.
So when is it time to move on?
- When spending time together feels like an obligation — You constantly question yourself why you go out with her after every outing. You no longer enjoy spending time with her and see the pointlessness of the friendship.
- When you learn nothing from the person — You cannot discuss personal issues, world events, or workplace problems with her because you cannot trust her ability to understand and act as a reliable sounding board. You are not growing together.
- When the person does not pull her weight — You could have realized the signs early on when you can count the number of times she organizes plans to go out with you. She relies on you more than you can rely on her.
When you finally let her go, it feels like coming out of a fog. You no longer let sentiments blur your priorities. It starts by creating emotional distance.
Although you spend less time together, you are friendly with each other. There will be the occasional text from her but you know that a brief reply from you will do. Only this time, you feel at peace — knowing that you are not carrying the burden of a friendship anymore.
