Unexpected Learnings From My Golfing Experience
Lessons on letting go of failures and braving challenges despite the odds.
I recently took up golf. Something that I never thought I would do. Growing up, I did not understand why my father enjoyed playing golf. The idea of swinging a thin stick to hit a tiny ball into a tiny hole did not appeal to me. Also, living in a tropical country, I was not willing to toast myself under the hot sun. Jack Nicklaus, a retired professional golfer, once quoted —
“Golf is a nice game, but that’s all. It’s never going to be an exciting game to watch on TV. It’s not a circus and never will be one. The audience for golf is not going to change significantly. It’s always going to be people who play it, understand it, and love it.”
Before I share about my golfing experience, I thought it would be helpful to briefly explain to non-golfers how golf is played to give it some context.
Most golf courses consist of 18 holes, i.e., 18 holes for you to aim your ball into. When you tee-off (your first hit for a hole), you will see a signboard next to you that provides information about the hole. Each hole is assigned with a par value — the number of strokes a golfer is expected to need when playing at the hole.
So if a hole is assigned par 4, it means you only get 4 strokes to get even with the hole. But if you can finish the hole in lesser strokes than that, even better. In golf, the lower the score the better you are.
To measure a golfer’s ability, we use a number called the handicap score. If par for the 18-hole course is 72, getting any score above that is called a handicap. E.g., if your score is 100, your handicap is 28. This is a simplified way of explaining a handicap, but the general rule is that.
When I first started playing golf, I had to familiarize myself with many golf terms. It felt like starting a new job in a new industry. What does a flight mean? That is what you call a group of golfers — a “flight” of golfers who play together in a round of golf. What are the types of clubs found in a golfer’s bag? Wood, iron, and putter. All of it sounded alien to me.
So, how did I get into learning golf? I can thank my husband for that. About a year after we were married, he started playing golf. He found us a good golf coach. I joined because the fees made more sense for two persons to join instead of one (blame my Asian mentality for this).
Unexpectedly, I grew to love playing golf. Know how you can love learning something when you have a good teacher? That was what happened to me. Our golf coach taught me to see golf differently. I cannot emphasize how important finding a good teacher is to learn anything well. It was how I felt about my piano teacher, art teacher, and swimming teacher, growing up. They impressed upon my young mind in a way no teachers have. They inspired my love for learning.
I guess we were lucky to have found a solid coach who taught us the good basics and etiquette of golf. The bonus was the love for the game. Plus, it is a game I can see myself enjoying with my husband as we grow old. Spending time on the course and being surrounded by nature (and sometimes, wild animals like exotic birds and monkeys). Focusing on nothing but making the best swing and being away from the world for a few hours.
Like my coach said, nothing can teach you more about life than golf. On the anniversary of learning to play golf, I decided to reflect on my experience and write about what I have learned and share some of the best golf quotes I read.
1. Every hole is a new opportunity to start over
There will be countless times when you will not achieve the par value for the hole. When you play badly, it can cause so much frustration that it could affect your performance in the next hole. It is easy to ruminate on your failures.
“If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them.” — Walter Hagen.
The key after playing every hole is to forget about your last performance and focus on growth. Unless you get used to failing and trying again, it will feel like self-torture through 18 holes of hell.
“Keeping the head still is golf’s one universal, unarguable fundamental.” — Jack Nicklaus.
Since the only thing that you can control is your focus on your next shot, golf builds mental discipline that you will find useful in real life. If I hit a bad shot, I learned not to let myself fester over it and ruin my next shot.
“The most important shot in golf is the next one.” — Ben Hogan
2. Progress is never linear
Just because you play well today doesn’t guarantee you will play well tomorrow (even if you are a professional player). Your golf experience can look like a volatile stock market performance chart and all you can do is to keep going until it becomes an upward trend.
“You’re going to go years where you just don’t win. That’s ok, as long as you keep trying to improve.” — Tiger Woods.
“Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots — but you have to play where it lies.” — Bobby Jones.
You learn to be responsible for your own growth, even if it does not reward you immediately. I nearly gave up playing golf when I did not see any improvement after a few months. I could not swing as naturally as I would like. But the breakthrough happened when I least expected it. And it was a rewarding experience I would never forget.
“Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.” — Arnold Palmer.
3. Patience is a virtue
I am sure by now, you would have realized the inconstancy of golf in achieving perfection. Playing golf tests your patience. Grown men have thrown their clubs out of frustration. Just search on Google and you will see videos of professional players throwing their clubs into a lake or pond.
“Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.” — Bruce Crampton.
“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” — P.G. Wodehouse (or her!).
I have found myself huffing and puffing looking for my ball that landed in the rough with a far walk from the buggy, just to hit another awful shot. It took a lot of patience and willpower out of me not to curse and give up on the hole under the scorching hot tropical sun.
No matter what happens, you must keep going (18 holes, remember?). Golf builds character.
“In golf as in life it is the follow-through that makes the difference.” — Dr Seuss.
4. Hit with the right (golf) club for you
There are 14 clubs in my golf bag. Which one should I use? Did I know that a pitching wedge makes a ball roll further than a sand wedge? Or that it is easier to use a 9-iron on a slope than a 7-iron? You learn to use the right tool in every situation.
“In your approach to golf, no one can tell you what to do. Just as in life, you are presented with options; it’s up to you to decide which ones suit you best.” — Sandra Haynie.
This is what makes golf so interesting. It presents you with options and lets you try to do the right thing every time. You learn what is good for you and apply it.
“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.” — Winston Churchill.
The game is a lot like life actually. You may not be the smartest, richest, or best-looking person, but you can use what you have to the best of your ability. You learn to improvise, adapt and overcome.
5. Learn to understand your surroundings before swinging it
There are hazards to watch out for when you are playing golf. Hazards on a golf course are areas that provide a difficult obstacle for golfers to get through e.g., water hazards (streams or ponds), bunkers (sand traps), and trees. Regardless of where you play, you will always encounter something different on every hole.
“But there is a difference between playing well and hitting the ball well. Hitting the ball well is about thirty per cent of it. The rest is being comfortable with the different situations on the course.” — Mickey Wright.
“Even before you step up to the ball, have a full battle plan for the hole worked out.” — Arnold Palmer.
Our coach always emphasized the importance of observing our surroundings before we hit the ball. When I am on the putting green, I have to kneel and observe the distance of the ball to the hole (length), degree of any slopes (direction) and condition of the grass (speed). Golf teaches you to pay attention to the details.
To be honest, I am not keeping track of my scores so I don’t have a handicap. But I play for the fun of it. I enjoy driving the buggy, seeing so much greenery around me, being challenged on the course and thinking about nothing but tackling what’s in front of me, one hole at a time.
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? — Al Boliska.
Yes, it can feel like mental self-flogging at times. I used to stress myself up about not hitting the ball well. These days, I couldn’t care less about what other golfers think of me on the course.
“Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.” — A.A. Milne.
I learned so much by being bad at golf and there is nothing bad about that. I love the feeling when I get it right and repeating it, even if it is rare. It is a humbling (but confidence-building) experience and a reminder that anything is possible (even if the odds are against you).
